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 F   ar into the future, on a beautiful planet called Selpira, whose 
gardens were filled with thickly sweet-smelling tirrens, whose sky was
always one of perfectly clear violet, whose winds were light and playful,
whose music was uplifting and peaceful, and whose people were kind and
rarely fought, there was a wizened, bewhiskered daffodil, simply absorbing
the happiness and learning all it could in its little daffodil lifespan
about what there was to know. It taught itself to think, to see, to hear,
to touch and taste and smell and talk and sing and read minds; it learned
to analyze, to enjoy, to hate, to love; it became a Renaissance daffodil.
   One fine Thursday, incidentally the worst Thursday that ever happened,
although, to the daffodil, it was only slightly unpleasant, the little
flower was relaxing in a rocking-pot, in the third-floor northeastern
sun wing of the mansion he had bought with the money it swindled out of
unsuspecting tourists.
   "Mhmmmmmm....aaaaaaaah," it sighed happily. It doesn't take very much
to make a daffodil--even a wizened and bewhiskered one--happy, but this
particular daffodil had quite a lot to be happy about. It had discovered
what a killing it was that could be made by being cute (albeit somewhat
hairy), clever, and on a planet where the natives didn't know what being
cheated /meant/. "Hehee! I can control them all!" it cackled gleefully.
And it was right.
   "OOK!" it ooked suddenly, and nearly fell out of its rocker. "AAGH!"
   It felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices
had suddenly cried out in terror, and had been suddenly silenced. In
its all-knowing and borderline-divine way, it knew what had happened;
The Earth, the only planet there was left for it to learn all there
was to know about, had been destroyed by the Vogons to make way for
a hyperspace bypass.
   "DANG! I'll NEVER get to call Milliways now!!" it shouted, and
wept horribly for days.


                     Don't let this happen to you.


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                 A splendid time is guaranteed for all.