B8:WOMAN.TXT

               A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS OF A DIGITATED, MAMMALIAN BIPED

ELEMENT           :  Female Human

CHEMICAL SYMBOL   :  WO

DISCOVERER        :  Adam

ATOMIC WEIGHT     :  Accepted as 118 but is known to vary from 100 to 160 lbs
                      (mutations have been known to exceed 400 lbs.)

OCCURRENCE        :  Surplus quantities in all urban areas

APPROVED FORMULA  :  36:24:36

USES              :  I)    Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
                     II)   Most powerful money reducing agent known
                     III)  Can be a great aid to relaxation or a continuous
                           source of frustration

PHYSICAL PROP.    :  I)    Surfaces usually covered in painted film
                     II)   Boils at nothing and freezes without reason
                     III)  Melts if given the proper treatment
                     Iv)   Bitter if used incorrectly
                     v)    Found in various states ranging from common ore
                           to virgin metal
                     vI)   Non-magnetic but attracted by bank notes
                     vII)  Yields to pressure applied at correct point
                     vIII) In its natural state it varies considerably, but the
                           shape is often artificially changed to conform to
                           that of a perfect specimen. Such transformations are
                           only discovered by an experienced eye
                     Ix)   In some instances may start to gain weight and look
                           like they have swallowed a basketball and then
                           proceed to take on qualities of a XEROX copier and
                           start to make copies

CHEMICAL PROP.    :  I)    Possesses a great affinity for gold, silver,
                           platinum and precious stones
                     II)   Able to asorb great quantities of expensive
                           substances
                     III)  May explore spontaneously if left alone with a male
                     Iv)   Insoluble in liquids but activity is increased by
                           saturation in alcohol
                     v)    Properties are vastly improved if specimen is placed
                           in the dark

TESTS             :  I)    Pure specimens turn a rosy tint if found in the
                           natural state
                     II)   Turns green if placed beside a better specimen

CAUTIONS          :  I)    Highly dangerous except in experienced hands, must
                           be used with great care and patience if experiments
                           are to succeed
                     II)   It is illegal to possess more than one permanent
            [line lost due to unknown reasons; go figure]
                           permissable
                     III)  When detaching a permanent specimen get appropriate
                           counsel because the SPECIMEN COULD DRAIN THE BLOOD
                           FROM YOUR VEINS INDEFINITELY


** milliways takes no responsibility for the viewpoints expressed in its
   general files. as far as we know, mcp stands for master control
   program.