#1/50: By: diatribe (#61) (SIGOp) : sugarmice dancing in the rain
 05/16/96 05:54pm

ahhh my friends, I guess I finally have a home. :) well, sort of anyway.
since the rest of the board is probably sick of hearing my work-a-day rants and
diatribes about things in life that confuse, frustrate, and depress me ... i
decided to create a board just for that use.  Feel free to step up and LET GO
:) and let others share and comment as well.  Let this be sort of like a slam
poetry forum, where others are completely free from the constraints of manners
and politeness, so that they may comment on your thoughts as freely as they
please.  we all need reality checks from time to time. : ) bad vibes or
whatever else generated on this board shouldn't bleed elsewhere, just let this
be your padded room. (but you don't *have* to be harsh, you can be nice if you
want to :))  And if you don't want it, just jump somewhere else.  bad grammar
is invited. 0) basically, chat here is fine too but you can't rant if you want
to and let it all hang loose.


diatribe

p.s. the board gets its name from my internet friend sugarmice, the most
wonderful poet i've ever met.  his father is a dentist, which horrifies me.
:)

#2/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : my prediction is that sometime soon
 02/02/97 11:47pm

Microsoft will buy Disney or vice versa.  When that happens I'll just give up.


#3/50: By: ZAPHOD (#41) : WoW
 02/03/97 05:11pm

Microsoft/Disney merger: the mind reels!
Hal- i think you better lay off the george Orwell for a while :-)

#4/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : fuck all, bat shit, bug frottage,
 02/03/97 10:51pm

Cthulhu R'leyh


orwell didn't go far enough!!!!!




#5/50: By: ZAPHOD (#41) : bug frottage? whaa?
 02/05/97 03:06pm
 

#6/50: By: gosubrun (#16) : bug frottage?
 02/06/97 03:12pm

oh hal, you sexy circuitry!
i/o me, you big hunk o' Heavy Metal
 
(my other line is an OC-12)

#7/50: By: diatribe (#61) (SIGOp) : sadsdsad
 02/06/97 09:28pm

i'm sad today and i can safely say the world SUCKS.
suck
suck
suck
i think i'd enjoy getting punched in the nose right now
i think that's what they call rock and roll


#8/50: By: Adagio (#25) : oh no...it's the attack of the bipolar bear!!!
 02/08/97 11:46am
 

#9/50: By: diatribe (#61) (SIGOp) : rooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
 02/09/97 04:25pm

:) it's the best of both worlds.   raaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr!

gNarly
 Educated
 Radical
 Dude.


#10/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : another message about io....
 02/09/97 07:16pm


could it be?

nah.

never.

well maybe.

um  yeah  i  guess  so.



#11/50: By: Radio Free Willy (#3) : io?
 02/10/97 11:26am

Rfw's favorite satellite?  The sole Gallilean satellite of Jupiter that you can
listen to at millipicnics?  The one that blasts through the mighty flux tube or
our wannabe binary star, creating visible arcing and auroras all the way down
into the planet?  The one that goes WSSSSHHHHHMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNN on 21
MHz every time?  The one that proves that Goddess is indeed strange and
powerful?

Sounds good to me.


#12/50: By: Adagio (#25) : I always always a ganymede type, myself
 02/11/97 04:55am
 

#13/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : no, i mean io
 02/11/97 10:04pm
 

#14/50: By: ZAPHOD (#41) : 
 02/12/97 11:17am

as in I(n put)/O(ut put) ?

#15/50: By: gosubrun (#16) : euripedes' pants
 02/12/97 01:28pm

you gotta pay

#16/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : yeah, as in (I)n put (O)ut put.
 02/14/97 06:48pm

io


#17/50: By: ZAPHOD (#41) : 
 02/15/97 01:27am

See MoN, We SpEkA Daaa Same Language!

#18/50: By: diatribe (#61) (SIGOp) : ulrika rules all
 02/17/97 01:31am

i'm writing for this magazine called carbomb and trying to write for this
magazine called giant robot but of course the minute i'm supposed to write
seriously all the ideas fly out of my head...  what should i write about?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAArg.
i have to write three more articles for carbomb and i'm tapped dry.

anyone know where to get stickers printed up inexpensively?    

     
has anyone here ever watched "Nausicaa of the valley of the wind?"


#19/50: By: Radio Free Willy (#3) : io
 02/17/97 11:58am

Yo, I caught your rap, but here I tend to spell that kind of io I/O.


#20/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : to Alex, input output is a complicated concept, 
 02/17/97 02:57pm

and he spells in I/O.  however, for HAL, input output is a vastly ordinary tyoe
of idea, represented by a single, conceptually ordinary, word.  HAL spells
and says io and does not even think of input/output or Jupiter's moon.




#21/50: By: Adagio (#25) : Seen Nausica & all that. Wasn't very impressed with it.
 02/19/97 01:28am
 

#22/50: By: Radio Free Willy (#3) : HAL 9000 doesn't think about io
 02/19/97 10:44am

HAL 9000 just talks.  HAL 9000 is the ultimate hidden op-system.

"bicycle... built...
for.......
two.................

IBM PC-DOS 4.11
C>

"

#23/50: By: gosubrun (#16) : just
 02/20/97 03:05am

don't think about Jupiter's moon.
No, don't.
Don't see it.
Don't see it in your mind's eye, spinning there in space, feeling the immense
and intractable pull from dominant gas giant Jupiter rippling the surface with
extreme tidal effects, jerking madly about like an epileptic pinball caught in
a sticky flystrip of spacetime gravity warpage of the surrounding ylem...

#24/50: By: diatribe (#4) : sleepy eating ships
 02/21/97 12:30am

i'm sitting here eating chips, with a speech to edit and visuals to prepare.
screw it all!
and then there's the trap of i'll wake up early and do it and then all of a
sudeen you find youself saying "SCREW college! i want to be freee! frreeee!"
then you go make more coffee and sit down and do a piddly amount of work and
fall asleep.  how can i get my motivation back?  why do i keep palnning so many
things and keeping myself busy when i don't want to do any work?

sigh.
sigh,
sigh!
sometimes i wish my school was crossraods except i know i'd have 20 X worser a
time concentrating and would probably be sprawled out on a rooftop stoned out
of my mind right now.  at least they have a bigger art dept.

one of the only heros in my life is stuck in wisconsin and i haven't heard from
him in months, if i had him right now i'd be ok.  not depressed, just aimless.

diatribe

#25/50: By: Radio Free Willy (#3) : io
 02/21/97 10:40am

I was trying harder not to think of an electron flux many thousands of miles
long, with a gyrofrequency somewhere around 21 MHz, the Jovian ionosphere beinb
so thick that the critical frequency is usually around 32 MHz, and attendant
lightning discharges, auroral lights and enough RF to hear at millipicnics on
cheap, simple short wave radios.  I was trying really hard not to think about
enormous sparks all the way from a moon to a planet.

Too late.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


#26/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : dave, dave
 02/21/97 10:48pm

dave is just io
frank is just io
discovery is just io
mission control is just io

the moon, on the other hand, is Io (as a moon, its name should be capitalized,
of course.)

i need to howl



#27/50: By: ZAPHOD (#41) : See, Its like Hal said!
 02/23/97 12:14am

If Hal 9000 had O.S. 2, dave would be alive today!

#28/50: By: Radio Free Willy (#3) : Dave is alive today.
 02/25/97 10:42am

He's gone over to The Other Side, with only the revived HAL 9000 to keep him
company.

Dave isn't here.

Timothy Leary's dead.  No, no, no, he's outside.  No, he's dead.


#29/50: By: diatribe (#4) : i like the way you pray
 03/04/97 04:29pm

what is scientology?  this german lutheran minister lady was telling me that it
was only a business and not a religion... in europe it's seen as that...
aside from all the cultish stuff and superstition, what is scientology?  what
will happen when L ROn HubBard dies?  

diatribe

               

#30/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : ok, it goes like this, on July 5th, 1998,
 03/04/97 11:58pm

(as you all know by now) the Xists will come to Earth to rescue all dues paying
subgeniuses from the normals.  They won't come on their own, but instead will
be called on July 4th, 1998, when, at the teleologically appropriate instant,
JR "Bob" Dobbs sacrifices L Ron Hubbard to the psychotic orbiting space god,
JEHOVAH I.  All of the money taken from the deluded normals by Scientology
Media Control and Mind Manipulation will erupt from the body of L Ron and
stream toward space, where it will assume geosynchronous orbit over the
Washington Monument and function as a giant green beacon.  This beacon will
guide the donut shaped saucers of the Xist Sex Goddesses as they stack up on
and around the Washington Monument like a segmented alien vagina that will
envelope and destroy Amerika's foremost symbol of normal, pink, patriarchy.

And that's what will happen when L Ron Hubbard dies.  See, all you have to do
is ask.


#31/50: By: Adagio (#25) : hrm
 03/05/97 02:56am

        diatribe,

        1) L. Ron Hubbard has been dead for...uh...shit, a long time. 

        2) The cultish stuff and superstition IS Scientology. Your German
Lutheran Minister Lady was quite correct, as well. Scientology is nothing but
the most insane load of horseshit you'll ever come across. Hell, it makes just
about ANYTHING look sensible by comparison...

        "In recent months, posts detailing serious abuses by Scientologists
have been posted to alt.religion.scientology, as newsgroup set up for that
purpose. Some posts have been delivered to the net, purporting to describe
ludis 'courses' which the cult is using to gull the susceptible.

        "One such course describes a tyrant named Xenu who, 70 million years
ago, it is claimed, kidnapped people in spacecraft resembling mid-20th century
DC-8 airliners, dropped them into volcanoes and nuked them. An average
Scientologist could pay many thousands of dollars, and be subject to months or
even years of softening his critical faculties, to prepare him to hear this
crap." 

        The text I quoted from describes quite a bit more and appears itself to
quote from documents directly out of the Scientology courses...

        lemme know if ya want it...

        -Il Diavolo

#32/50: By: Radio Free Willy (#3) : also,
 03/05/97 10:04am

You pay them thousands of dollars to hold onto what resembles two beer cans and
an ohmmeter, while they ask you embarassing questions.  When you have trained
yoursurself not to wiggle the meter while pouring out your most painful
memories, you are pronounced Clear and you are then allowed to give them the
rest of your money and recruit kids off Hollywood Boulevard.

I will post no more about this fake religion, because it sues any BBS that
tries to debunk them.


#33/50: By: ZAPHOD (#41) : I know a guy who said:
 03/05/97 11:30am

they wreked his car, burned his house, killed his dogs and were ultamatly
responsable for his fathers death (stress) he is so paranoid of them
that he is convinced that any who speaks of them must be one of them
I am enclined to beleave that you shouldnt mess w/ these people
because the are know for crushing il(or otherwise seriously messing with
the livew3s of thoes who cross them           h               

#34/50: By: Beledi (#65) : Hasn't L. Ron Hubbard
 03/06/97 12:07am

died a number of times?  I keep hearing he's dead, then he's not, then he's
dead, then he's not then he's really dead this time.  confusing.  Kind of like
a Russian leader.  You never know if it's really him or some guy that just
looks like him.

#35/50: By: Adagio (#25) : If L. Ron Hubbard ISN'T dead,
 03/07/97 02:25am

        then I'm gonna go on a Crusade to hunt his ass and I know folks who'll
join me. Anyone 'ere wanna get on the list? 

        On the other hand...it'd be pretty cool to be one of the people on the
top levels of the organization. Imagine the money! The power! -Wow-! And
getting to hang out with John Travolta. Talk about fuckin' kickass...

        oh well...I also wish I had some shares in MicroSoft...;>

        -Il Diavolo

#36/50: By: Labia (#85) : l ron is just another dirtbag messiah, says all the tings dirtbag messiahs say.
 03/08/97 02:52pm

"create a war-machine and pound on everyone."


#37/50: By: ZAPHOD (#41) : YER SLIPPIN
 03/09/97 05:29am

I didnt see the words penis or opression in this post
whats a matter?

#38/50: By: Adagio (#25) : ?
 03/09/97 07:40am

        Don't you know, Zaphod? War is just dick-waving.

        btw, Laia...once again, yer right on the money...

        -Il Diavolo

#39/50: By: diatribe (#4) : maybe nirvana is atom-dom
 03/11/97 05:05pm

bleh, who knows?  i had an olfactory hallucination this morning.  tandoori
chicken, 7:45 AM, bathroom, brushing teeth.  strange.  i have alot of olfactory
hallucinations... apple pie in the desert, coffee in a closet, prime rib in the
living room.  someone told me this meant i was mental.  :)


#40/50: By: gosubrun (#16) : HAL
 03/12/97 12:33am

in honor of your birthday, i taught my processor to sing, "Daisy."
it also answers my phone, and tells the User that 
i cannot i/o right now
 
so, diatribe; 
by your above comments, you appear ready to throw off
the chains of the false demigogs and embrace the true 
occult wisdom:
Fartology.
 
Yes, my friends,
I bet you have wondered to yourself,
"How do they know what I'm thinking?"
Or how others get the drop on you...
 
it's simple:
FARTOLOGY!
 
The Science of Ascertaining Someone's Spiritual State
by Sublime Sniffing.
 
of course, you may have heard whispers of it, 
threads gleaming amidst all of the occult craperoo
and hooplah. Old men know it; wise old women
of the tribe know it. The animals know it.
It has been rumored to exist for ages, and exist it does.
 
I speak as one who knows all, sees all, and smells in such
ripe and clarified fucus that it makes kirlian photography
look like random static electrical discharge.
 
Did you ever hear these wise sayings?
"I smell a rat"
"I could smell it coming"
"Smells like trouble"
 
of course you have! But did you ever stop to think of 
the concealed wisdom in these cliches?
No. You did not.
 
Fartology could help you with these koans.
Fartology can show you the Way.
Fartology NOSE.
 
The smell of a corrupt garlic-eater 
is sharply different from that of a vegan.
The smell of a power-mad executive is distinct
from that of Suzy Homemaker.
 
You only must open your Third Nostril to be free...

#41/50: By: Adagio (#25) : diatribe, yer mental. ;>
 03/12/97 02:37am
 

#42/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : yea, whiffread the pstench of those who you would
 03/12/97 11:07pm

prophecy for.  Once you have been glandscaped and suffered through the
accu-beatings, your third nostril will open.


I prophecy best when sent a large denomination bill which you have had in your
wallet for some time.  Use a wax envelope.


#43/50: By: diatribe (#4) : :) *snIFF*:')
 03/13/97 05:34pm

am i worthy of fartology?  would it overcome me?

I'm having a BAD DAY. *scowl* I am not having a cerebral day, I'm having a
physical, try to make it from point A to point B day.  Mindset for today was
basically "I hate art.  I hate artists.  Poetry is poo-caca.  I hate poets."
Most of the time i'm a bit more rational and logical about what i say about art
and creative outletting but today point A was -i hate art- and point B was
-hate art but come home without crying and having a completely manic depressive
day-.  i don't know how to explain it, okay?  nice that today is the day that
my english teacher should choose to ask me how important poetry was to my life,
to life in general and whether it affected my life.  i said "i guess so.  you
could say that.  to a certain extent".  i was really bored and trying to make
it safely to point B, so i didn't really pay attention to what he was saying.
"blah-blah-blah.   blah-blah-blahblahblah."  it turned into "BLAH-BLAH! 
BLAHBLAHBLAH!!!"  so my mind tuned back and and figured out he was angry.  he
started shouting and well... i don't really remember much except that he said
it made him angry enough to shout "fuck you" then started going off on a world
without art or color.  SHUT UP.  what a stupid man.   i guess this is what you
call retarded.  so i kept doing waht i'd been doing the whole time which was
going "yup.  uh-huh.  i see your point.  yup.  i guess . . . ".  he's known me
for years.  i'm one of the sole steady supporters of the poetry shit rag that
he advises.  i read at every reading and attend every poetry club meeting that
i can make.  i for the last few years lived, breathed, ate poetry.  he should
know me fucking better than that and give me a break, ask what's wrong, etc...
instead of going off on some generic diatribe about -blah-. i could have been
rude and started shouting "YOU AREN'T THAT GUY FROM DEAD POET'S SOCIETY AND YOU
NEVER WILL BE SO GET OVER IT AND STOP THIS EMOTIONAL BULL SHIT HEAD TRIP!!! 
NOTHING YOU SHOUT WILL ROUSE ME ABOUT POETRY TODAY.  POETRY SUCKS! 
SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS.  even stephen hawking (sp?) gets tired of
physics!!!!!   GO AWAY YOU HAIRY, OBTUSE, BORING MAN!!!"  whatever.  
sorry.
as i said i'm having a bad day
i can't think, spell, or philosiphise.
i hate men, for today.
the world is just a really fake place
and yes i know it's cliche to say that.


#44/50: By: HAL 9000 (#73) : i'm sorry you are having a bad day, but one
 03/13/97 07:04pm

day your love of art will

RISE LIKE PEGASUS OUT OF THE STORM, 
POETRY, POETRY, POETRY REBORN!!



#45/50: By: Adagio (#25) : jezz
 03/14/97 02:16am

        What a fucking asshole. Dude sounds like a total bitch-ass trick...

        -Il Diavolo

#46/50: By: Radio Free Willy (#3) : art is like in the movie
 03/17/97 11:40am

it lays dormant, like herpes, but it does not pass.  one day, you get a hell of
a wart and sell some more.


#47/50: By: Joseph (#1) (SysOp) : "a total bitch-ass trick..."
 03/20/97 07:46pm

now, why didn't *I* think of that?

#48/50: By: Adagio (#25) : well
 03/24/97 02:04am

        Probably 'cause we don't hang out enough, sweetheart...;>

        -Il Diavolo

#49/50: By: gosubrun (#16) : art does not pass
 03/27/97 08:39pm

try a couple of bananas or prunes.

#50/50: By: ZAPHOD (#41) : OHhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
 03/29/97 02:28am

It goes in, 
and IT goes Out!
Fish,bannanas,old pajammas
mutton,
beef,
and trout!

sugarmice dancing in the rain
-*> next or boards <*-